The funniest thing about You, Me and Dupree is that everyone knows a Dupree. Or will. Or has been one at some time or other. The moment you recognize you have a Dupree on your hands, you start hatching a scheme to get rid of him. Well, hopefully these tips will make that a little easier.

If you ARE a Dupree, you might want to pay attention, so you can take evasive action against the latest Dupree punting techniques.

These are the 5 rules to get rid of a Dupree:

1. Kick him out. This is the most obvious solution and it might be the hardest because Duprees are often lovable characters. They’re down on their luck. Sometimes they’re helpful or comical. The point is, unless you have that special breed of Dupree that is absolutely abominable - something like Jack Nicholson in Anger Management, then you don’t stand a chance unless you’re willing to be the bad guy and have the whole world know it.
2. Fumigate your house. And we’re not talking bug-bomb here. We’re talking serious tent-over-the-house fumigation. Now, I know what you’re thinking and no, you can’t tie him up inside while it’s happening. But it’s a great way to get him out and shut down the house for awhile, especially if you can get the pest company to stall for a week or so. Wherever you’re staying, assure your Dupree he’ll have to find some place else to stay for a few days. This can work because Duprees often have very short attention spans. His whole life plan could change in a matter of a couple days. With any luck you’ll get a postcard from him telling you about the circus he’s run off and joined.
3. Pawn him off on someone else. Although a vacation can give you a temporary reprieve from your live in nightmare, it’s not going to give you lasting ‘dupreedom’ because your Dupree will faithfully volunteer to guard the house while you’re away. But … if you could convince him to come along with you, then you might have a shot of pawning him off on some other unsuspecting people in a far away land. Think Mongolia, Borneo - do a little research and see if you can find a place where they still practice cannibalism. You might be able to get him to latch on to someone a little closer to home, but then there’s a good chance that they could push him back your way.
4. Move. A little drastic, but not unheard of. If you can move to a new place where there’s obviously no room for him or that is somehow off his karmic path (whatever that means) you can be rid of him once and for all. Make it spur of the moment - move all your stuff out in the middle of the night and then hand him the keys and tell him the place is all his. If he’s really sticky like gum in your hair, you might have to do a few of these moves to shake him. After about 5 or 6 moves though, it’s time to get serious and see if you can get yourself into the FBI witness protection program.
5. Fight fire with fire. This is going to be a little scary at first and then it’s going to be a lot of fun. You have to get into the mind of your Dupree and understand what makes him tick (the scary part). And then you have to become his Dupree (the fun part). The key here is to be creative and not hold back. If your Dupree is a vegetarian, empty the refrigerator and the cupboards and stock up on beef. Buy a whole side of beef and hang it up in the kitchen. If your Dupree is an avid cycler, take his bike apart and tell him you’re going to make it fast. Really, really fast. When he asks you after a couple days why you haven’t put it back together, tell him you’re waiting for the new parts or engineering drawings to arrive and just keep stalling. If your’e going to fight fire with fire, you have to keep the pressure on, so get organized and put together a list of at least 2 or 3 things you can do every day to drive him insane.

If you haven’t seen the movie You, Me and Dupree starring Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, and Matt Dillon, check it out. It’s a hilarious movie and it’s full of art imitating life moments.

Find out more at Amazon: You, Me and Dupree

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