Dating: When It’s Time To Listen To Your Friends
The test: Are all your friends saying the same thing?
What does someone do when everyone is telling them that their new crush is completely wrong for them? Usually … they ignore everyone. And then when the relationship goes bad, they kick themselves for not seeing it coming. There’s a reason this happens and it’s called chemistry.
Sometimes there’s no easy way to describe why we really like someone or fall in love except to call it chemistry. When it just just clicks and feels right, that’s the chemistry talking. And our brains do a little dance thanks to things like pheromones, oxytocin, vasopressin, and endorphins. Scientists are always striving to understand this more. As much as we do understand, it’s difficult to say how much of love is a conscious choice, and how much is chemistry that just happens and is somehow beyond our control.
So, there’s a good reason that you might not listen to friends and family when it comes to matters of the heart - because your heart (actually your brain) is saying everything is great, and it speaks louder than words. How do you trust that you’re making the right decisions? When should you listen to what other people are saying?
Ask your friends what they think of this new person you’re dating. Ask a lot of friends. Sometimes you’re friends won’t want to say anything bad because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, so ask some of them what they think others are thinking. If you find that a couple of people don’t really like this new person, ask them why. Maybe there’s a real concern there and maybe not. But if a lot of your friends are getting a bad vibe, then it’s time to question the chemistry. It’s time to listen to your friends and put a lot of thought into what you’re doing and whether or not this is a relationship that is going to be good for you.
