Maybe He’s Just Not That Into … Anybody
You’ve probably heard of the book He’s just not that into you
Then you start wondering what it is she has that you don’t have. And then you go out and buy a lot of ice cream. Occasionally though, girls run into a guy who’s just not that into anybody. The first thing you might think is, this guy is a player. A lot of times you would be right, but every once in a while, what you have on your hands is a serial dater.
Serial Dater?
The difference between a player and a serial dater is one of intent. Players plan to stick around for a good time, not a long time. Serial daters don’t plan on making a speedy exit. They just do. Unlike players, serial daters only date one girl at a time and there is a good stretch of time in between each relationship. And every relationship they jump into usually follows the same pattern …
1. Meet
2. Date for a while
4. Breakup
5. Guilt
Serial daters hit a wall that stops the relationship in it’s tracks. Sometimes they feel insecure about themselves or where they are in their lives. Sometimes they’re perfectionists and have a checklist of impossible characteristics they’re looking for in a lifelong mate. Either way, they are usually the ones who end a relationship, although sometimes they might force you to end it by making themselves increasingly distant and inaccessible.
How To Spot A Serial Dater
In many ways he seems a lot like a player but there are some key differences. Players never have much time for you, don’t have much respect for you, and they have one goal that involves boots and knocking. Serial Daters are great boyfriends - if only for a little while. They like doing new and interesting things. They like spending time actually talking to you.
To spot a serial dater you’re going to have to get him to tell you about his past girlfriends or talk to his friends and see if he has a history filled with lots of short sporadic relationships.
What Do You Do With A Guy Who Is Just Not That Into Anybody?
The easy answer is, move on. The hard answer is, be impossibly perfect and convince him that he is too. There really isn’t too much you can do because guys who are not that into you or anybody else tend to be really good at sabotaging their relationships to get out of them.
